


Touch

by Softilo



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxious Katsuki Yuuri, Character's Name Spelled as Viktor, Fluff and Angst, It's not even angst I swear they communicate and get past this, M/M, Patient boyfriend Viktor Nikiforov, Touch-Averse Katsuki Yuuri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-05
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:21:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25732762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Softilo/pseuds/Softilo
Summary: There was nothing he wanted more than to fall into Viktor’s arms and stay there for more than a minute before the suffocation creeped up on him. One day – he promised himself, one day he’d accept a hug and not shrug it off.
Relationships: Katsuki Yuuri & Victor Nikiforov, Katsuki Yuuri/Victor Nikiforov
Comments: 4
Kudos: 75





	Touch

Yuuri had a complicated relationship with affection. He tried not to think about it but he knew he didn’t like being touched without permission. He was lucky enough to live and work around sensible people that it was often never an issue and so it just drifted to the background. He kissed Viktor’s face every morning, hugged his friends after a match, held hands with Viktor everywhere. He didn’t even shrink away when a visiting skater grabbed him by the shoulder for a photograph, though he felt very annoyed afterwards.

His tolerances seemed to wax and wane; and it’d always been forgiving to him. However, sometimes situations arose where one touch – welcome as it would seem on paper, would ruin his mood and the rest of the day. Or in this case, the rest of the night.

He had been setting the table and Viktor who’d been getting dinner ready had sneaked up behind him and wrapped his arms around Yuuri’s shoulders.

It was a sweet, romantic, and kind gesture. It also made Yuuri’s insides turn cold and his throat tighten up. He tensed his shoulders and hoped Viktor wouldn’t notice but of course he did.

Viktor, as always was kind about this. He let go of Yuuri.

Yuuri turned around and opened his mouth to say something - to make an excuse and salvage the moment before it soured the night.

“I just…I wanted to set the table” he said. He forced himself to relax his body and smiled weakly at his boyfriend. He wanted to rest his head on Viktor’s shoulder but he couldn’t.

Viktor nodded and went back to the kitchen without saying anything. Another attempt at affection ruined.

Yuuri wondered how many chances Viktor would give him before he gave up entirely.

_When you live like an island, everyone you love will drown and you will rock yourself to sleep alone on the shore._

This was something that had run through Yuuri’s head before.

Yuuri loved Viktor too much to let him drown.

* * *

They ate dinner together and the night wasn’t as awkward as Yuuri had feared it would be. He snuggled next to Viktor and they watched a documentary about migrating birds.

When Viktor tried to rest his head on his shoulders, Yuuri let him and wrapped his arms around him. It was so peaceful and it broke his heart that he was the one preventing them from having moments like this more often.

They sat like that even after the show was over and Yuuri knew this was something they had to talk about, not because he felt like opening up but because he knew that Viktor was more inclined to go with the flow, adjusting himself around the obstacles of their relationship even if it meant he was left twisted in pain.

No, that was just not fair to him.

There was nothing he wanted more than to fall into Viktor’s arms and stay there for more than a minute before the suffocation creeped up on him. One day – he promised himself, one day he’d accept a hug and not shrug it off.

He had rehearsed every possible sentence in his head but when he opened his mouth to speak, his mind was blank.

“I’m sorry” he mumbled into his Viktor’s hair.

Viktor sat up and took his hand.

“You don’t have to apologize Yuuri” he said, his eyes as kind as ever but his voice was pained.

_The pain he had caused._

Yuuri cleared his throat and shook his head.

“I don’t know why I do this; I love it when you hug me and kiss me but I just…I don’t know” he didn’t bother trying to finish the sentence.

Viktor rubbed his arm and kissed the top of his head.

“It’s okay”.

“No, it’s not, I love…I love you. I never want to do anything to make you feel bad” said Yuuri, his throat tightening and face hot.

“Of course, I know that Yuuri”. They sat together in silence, Yuuri not trusting himself to speak without crying and Viktor with his arms around him now.

“Please don’t give up on me till I get better” said Yuuri finally, regretting it immediately. It sounded so desperate.

He took a deep breath and resisted the urge to pull away and put his head between his knees. He felt very vulnerable, a cold shiver twisting away in his stomach and waited for Viktor to get upset. He wondered if Viktor would tell him that even he was allowed to have limits, or that Yuuri was difficult to love.

Instead, Viktor got up and turned around so they were facing each other while still holding his hands.

“Yuuri, there is nothing you could to make me give up on you” he said quietly. His voice was strained but there was sincerity behind it.

Yuuri just nodded.

* * *

The next few days passed in a haze of skating, meetings, working out, and spending time with friends. Kisses and hugs were freely offered and received with no hesitation. Sudden tensing up was forgiven with soft pats. They were getting better slowly and it occurred to Yuuri how blissful it was to be loved by such a patient man.

One winter night, with too many thoughts and not enough nerves to show restraint; Yuuri sat his boyfriend down and told him how thankful he was. They spoke at length - with Yuuri leading, about their comfort levels and they talked about what they appreciated about each other.

Yuuri loved Viktor for being so kind and patient.

Viktor loved Yuuri for being sweet and making sure he felt loved.

They loved each other so much. So much that Yuuri was scared that Viktor might drown by trying to love him.

Viktor kissed him and reminded him that he was very good at swimming.

They would meet each other halfway.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fic for the Yuri!!! On Ice fandom, I hope you liked it. 
> 
> Thank you for reading!


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